Fear is an emotion indispensable for survival. -Hannah Arendt

K so...apparantly it's THAT time of year again. You know ... ''THAT'' time.
That time of year where the words that paralyze me with fear the most are...always said by someone who knows me well, in a slow steady tone..."Stace- DON'T. MOVE."
That's right - it's SPIDER time. Perhaps you call it Spring time...whatever the case may be...as much as I adore the warm weather and bare-footedness of these months...along with all the hot dogs (and saurkraut- teehee TDG) and all the night swimming and fun summer activities and coronas...comes SPIDERS. There is NOTHING in the whole wide world that makes me quite as squeamish as these vile little monsters. Lemme tell you, when these clever people inform me not to ''move'' and to ''stay still'' while they dispose of some spider lurking nearby that they happened to notice before I did. Which by the way, why do other people ALWAYS see them before me ? And secondly...why are there always spiders lurking near me?!!? Seriously, come on. Anyways, moving along...everytime someone tells me to hold still while they dispose of the spider...it doesn't work out that way. I cannot SIT STILL while there is some creature crawling about GOD KNOWS WHERE and I trust some fool (ie:friend, boyfriend, family memeber, co-worker) to put my fate in their hands. So I do what any sensible person would do.
I run. I run like HELL and I cry...oh BOY do I cry. I mean...tears. I've been known to vomit...and as much as I thoroughly HATE to admit this...I cannot lie to my own BLOG...sometimes I may even pee. :( You see, spider season is a HUGE problem for me. I once was at a restaurant/bar with a friend who noticed a spider dangling from a web near my ear. Her eyes darted back and forth from my eyes- to a space just a few inches from my head and above my ear. I caught her eyes with mine and she grew wide eyed with terror. She is not afraid of spiders...she just knew that I knew. "Stacey, DON'T MOVE!" As if that were my cue...I FLED. I ran from the balcony, through the dancefloor, across the pool room and straight into the ladies room. What I did in there may shock you. I locked myself in a stall and proceeded to strip. Down to my underwear! I threw all the clothing over the top of the stall to my friend, who was catching it all and shaking it out for me. Once we were sure the spider hadn't somehow made its way into my clothing, I got dressed again. Then I had to comb through my entire head of hair to be sure it wasn't hiding there either. The point to this story is just...I hate spiders. HATE.THEM. I've been dreading the impending doom that spring brings with it for me. And the other night I heard one of the phrases I most dread...'oh. my. GOD. Stacey come here!" I hesitated but figured...oh, the dear sweet love of my life wouldn't do that to me!
I was wrong. As I edged closer to the bedroom door, there he stood. Pointing to the wall and kind of bouncing up in down in excitement with an evil smile on his face.
Me?
I ran.
Spring is here!!
:)